Council Bluffs SDA Church

My Journey

A Personal Testimony

We are all on a journey through this thing called life.  This is just a bit about my journey towards the path that I am currently walking with God.

When I was young, just a little girl, I use to sit on a swing looking toward the sky, watching the clouds float by imagining someone looking down at me.  I would talk to this cloud like person.  I would talk about my feelings, what was going on in my life, my pains, my joys, and about what I would like things to be like when I grew up.  I didn't know it then, but I had already started talking to God.

I was not brought up going to church on a regular basis.  I had little bits on the story of Jesus as well as all the other Bible stories presented to me at various times.  I did not understand much of it because it was so few and far between.  So I did not realize my early conversations were actually with God.  I look back now and I see how I was already starting to talk with God and asking for His help.  I just didn't know it at the time.

There were times when God spoke to me, helped me, and I didn't even know it at the time.  I look back now on things that happened to me as a child and I see God and how He worked.  Such as the time when I was very young, maybe 8, and my father tried to molest me.  When my father started to touch me inappropriately, I heard a voice saying "go to the bathroom and lock the door".  I did just that.  I told my father I had to go to the bathroom, he let me, and I locked the door.  I stayed there until my mother got home.  I never let myself be alone with him again.  I never said anything, although I should have.  Once I was old enough to understand what had happened I decided not to tell my mother because I didn't want to cause her more pain than she already had.  Even though I never said anything, I did talk to the One who really mattered.  And He guided me through it all.  He guided me to forgiveness.

I made a lot of mistakes growing up and even into my early young adult life.  All the mistakes I made I did learn from, although sometimes slowly.  I had many not so great relationships.  Let's face it, there were a LOT of bad relationships.  I made many mistakes in those relationships.  I made tough decisions for the sake of my children.  I ended up a divorced mother of two children with special needs.  I learned a great deal during those times.  After many years and prayers to God asking for someone to love me for me and for a better life than I seemed to be having, I met my second husband.  God was working to answer my prayers better than I could have ever imagined.

I had always wanted a relationship with God.  I didn't know I had the beginnings of one.  Didn't realize how much of a relationship I already had with God.  Didn't even realize how much time I spent, and spend, talking with God.  I started Bible studies with my then boyfriend and the pastor from his church.  Suddenly so many things made sense to me.  All the questions I had.  All the wondering and many thoughts I had.  They suddenly made more sense.  I decided, let me stress this, I decided to be baptized.

I planned out when I wanted to be baptized.  It just so happened that at the time of year this all took place, it was close to Christmas.  I decided to be baptized on Christmas Eve, 2005.  I was overjoyed to give my life to God.  To publicly show that I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.  I invited family and friends.  When I went to my mother to tell her about my decision and invite her to witness my baptism, she surprised me by saying "I had you baptized as a baby".  I remember looking at my mother and saying "this is MY choice".  I was making the decision.  I didn't have a choice when I was a baby and I didn't know anything about it.  This was my choice and I felt it meant so much more!  My mother did come to my baptism.  I'm glad she did.  

That Sabbath was one of the more memorable and special for me.  Not just because I gave my life and heart to Jesus, but also because my husband proposed to me that very night!  God answered my prayer.  He did not answer it when I asked it the first time.  He didn't answer it the second, third, or fourth time I asked it.  He didn't even answer it the first year I asked for it.  God answered my prayer for a good man who would love me for me in His time.  When He felt it was right.  To the man He thought would be best for me.  God answers prayers.  In His time and in His way.

There are so many other layers to my journey.  So many other stories and times when God spoke to me.  Much of the time I did not listen.  More and more, with every passing day and year, I do listen.  I still talk to God all throughout the day.  Now I also take time to close my eyes, bow my head, and formally pray.  Not just for myself, but for others.  I also pray for God to continue to guide me down His path.  I choose to follow God.  I choose to try and live my life as much like Jesus did His as I can.  I'm not perfect.  I make mistakes.  But I know that I am walking with the One who loves me even more than my husband.  The One who knows me better than I know myself.  The One who died for my sins.  The One and only Savior.  My Savior, My Lord, and the Savior of the world.